Therapy for Couples

There is no need to suffer unnecessarily as an intimate couple! The satisfaction of a deep, intimate connection with a loving partner is one of the greatest joys of life – and yet can be so challenging to achieve much less sustain over time.

Hello and welcome! I am Laura D. Cutler, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. For nearly 20 years, I have been working with adults, children, youth, families, and communities in the field of psychotherapy and child welfare in a variety of settings, including private practice, the foster care system, and hospital setting. One of my passions in the field of psychotherapy is couple relationships and couples communication. It is not just a professional passion, but a personal one, as well, as I navigate my own loving relationship with Marc, my partner.

When you and your partner work with me, you will be encouraged to speak your truth with confidence, learn powerfully effective skills to communicate in ways that require you both to be vulnerable and honest, yet without shutting down your partner – and take responsibility for your part in creating whatever form the disconnect or struggle takes with your partner.

My therapeutic style is warm, supportive, solution-focused, and based on Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, which teaches us to notice and question our negative thoughts and perceptions of self and other in order to come to a more balanced view. I have also been trained in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, the only evidence based intervention for couples in the world, that teaches us how to discern “the dance” we engage in with our partner when feeling emotionally unsafe or disconnected and shift it in a way that not only ensures reconnection but even strengthens the intimate bond, taking your intimacy to a new level.

I grew up in a house filled with books and two parents that revered learning. So, naturally, I include psycho education, or a teaching element, in my therapeutic approach. I continue to learn, too, and will happily share my discoveries when pertinent to your couples journey in psychotherapy.

Our work together will rest upon several core concepts:

1. All feelings, thoughts (even negative ones!), and body sensations are valuable and serve as our constant teachers. 
2. When we get good at slowing down and questioning our thoughts and assumptions, magical changes can begin to happen.
3. Focusing on our own and our partner’s existing personal strengths and seeking to build upon them is the most effective way to move forward in our intimate relationship.  Past regrets and traumas, including those experienced in childhood within your family of origin, are to be honored and learned from, but we need not live there.
4. Good therapy does not need to take years. When we develop treatment goals together, based upon your individual and shared insights and needs, significant progress can be made in weeks or months.
5. The skills you and your partner will learn in therapy with me can serve you for the rest of your life. You will become your own therapists and even share your experiences with other couples to encourage and support those who are struggling.
6. Therapy alone is never enough. We must give attention to our nutrition, exercise, sleep habits, work life, need for creative expression, and make plenty of time for sexuality, and play. Spiritual practices, such as a faith tradition, yoga, meditation, and other spiritual tools, are also extremely helpful in strengthening your intimate partnership – which is always unfolding!

Even with all of the insight and knowledge in the world, I have seen and personally experienced that, ultimately, it is relationship that heals. It is deep listening that heals. It is kindness, patience, giving up the need to be right, being curious, seeking to love and understand that heals -ourselves as well as our partner.

I invite you to experience the therapeutic space with me and see what is possible. Know that there is no such thing as failure or “getting it wrong” with me – only new discoveries about what works and what feels right to you as individuals and as a couple, moment by moment.  You both have the capacity to grow and change. And, you don’t have to do it alone!

Learn how to communicate in a new way. Learn how to connect deeply and reignite the spark that drew you together in the beginning – only now, there is an opportunity for ever deeper connection and partnership that only comes when you know yourself better than ever and your partner, too. Let the exploration begin!

Warm regards,